How to have a long-distance relationship.

No. 

I'm NOT claiming to be an expert. 

Promise. 

But, I do think I'd like to share my love story. Everyone okay with that?




Our story began in June of 2010, when my sweet friend Anna came to pick me up for a friend's birthday party. This kind of nerdy looking guy was sitting in the back of her car (I thought he was nerdy because he was wearing glasses, so sue me), and he introduce himself as her cousin, Will. Apparently we talked that night about how we both had gone to Auburn, and I had been in the same major as his sister-in-law. I didn't remember us talking. Whoops. 

Long story short, we started seeing a lot more of each other, and when he asked me to go to dinner, I agreed. I went in to the date optimistic but not too optimistic. I was blown away when we talked so long the restaurant closed on us. 

Our situation was a little crazy, because right about the same time Will asked me out, I has just decided to go on the World Race, and Will decided to spend a year doing missions in East Asia.  

So... we had to decide really quickly whether or not we were going to be a serious thing. 

(We decided we were)

It helped that Will was going to be out of the country too, although he was going to be living in an apartment in a big city and working with college students... so it was a bit different than sleeping on the floor and roughing it in 3rd world countries. But it was an incredible thing to have someone to walk beside as we were both fundraising and taking huge leaps of faith. 

Honestly, we truly felt the presence of the Lord in our relationship, and we felt like we were being asked to trust Him with the relationship--even though we only dated for 4 1/2 months before we left, to be apart for 12 1/2. We believed that if the Lord wanted us to stay together, He would make it happen. 

We prayed and prayed and prayed.

That the Lord would continue to be at the center of our relationship.

That we would NOT be a distraction to each other's ministries. 

That we would rely on the strength of the Lord and not each other. 

I think that praying those prayers was  HUGE.

The Lord totally answered. He allowed us to communicate WAY more than we ever expected (Who knew how readily available internet could be in 3rd world countries??). Even if it was only an email or two every couple of weeks. Somehow through email and Skype we were able to continue to grow in our relationship and encourage each other in our separate ministries, and God began to put the "M" word on our hearts. 

They say long distance (in our case, ridiculously long distance) is a relationship killer. But I don't think it has to be. I think if it's in God's plan for you to be together, He'll allow you to stay together. That may not be the case for everyone, but I feel so incredibly blessed that it was for us. We prayed for the relationship to be in God's hands and not our own, and he truly blessed it. 

So... I can't tell you what is best for someone else's relationship, breaking up or staying together. All I know is you have to listen to where the Spirit is leading you. If you have a peace in your heart about staying together, then listen. If you feel unsettled about staying together, listen. But also, pray, pray, pray for God's will to be done, for Him to be at the center, and for you not to be a distraction to one another while you're away, whether you are together or not. 

There were definitely times when I was a little distracted by the relationship, I'm far from perfect. But in those times, I tried to switch my attention to the Lord, praying to stay present wherever I was. It was something we had to both pray for all the time. 

It wasn't easy. Not at all. But it was good. And our story has a happy ending. I praise God for that every day.

Beating a Dead Horse?

You'd think I'd get it by now.

I haven't blogged since November, but my last post was about it too.

Thankfulness. 

It seems to be a lesson I need to/have to/will keep learning over and over and over. This season of life, being home from the World Race, has been nothing if not hard. There has been so, SO much transition:

3rd World Countries to America.

Working as a missionary to working as a speech pathologist.

Living in tight-knit community to living in a house alone (for the first time ever!)

Having loads of time to spend in the Word to fighting for just a few moments.

Sleeping on floors and rickety bunk beds to a fluffy queen size bed (spoiled).

Showering every few days to... showering a little more often? (whoops!)

Not knowing what the next week, day, or hour will hold to having the next 3 months of my life filled up to the brim!

Dating to ENGAGED!

Celebrating Christmas together for the first time!

And through much of this transition I've felt burdened by the weight of all this change. I haven't known how to process it all or handle it all. I haven't known how to be the person I became this year in a world that is familiar but also unfamiliar. So much is the same as before I left, but so much is different.

So I'm learning.
I'm learning s l o w l y.
I'm learning how to balance busyness of work, planning a wedding, and preparing for marriage with time with the Father.
I'm learning how to take all the lessons and beautiful things God taught me this year and share them with people around me.
I'm learning to live out the changes that God has done in my heart and love people more boldly.
I'm learning to to be engaged; to communicate, love, and live life beside another person.
I'm learning how to have community and fellowship with people without living in the same room with them and working side-by-side every day.
I'm learning how to wrangle and care for my students who cuss at me, kick me, pull my hair, and spit in my face. (True story)
And I'm learning (again and again) to be thankful, even when things aren't so easy.

My morning devotional says, "be thankful in all circumstances." 
The sermon at church says, "the foremost quality of a 'with God' life is gratefulness." 
My fiancé listens to a podcast that says, "tell the people around you that you're thankful for them."

Could it be any more clear where I need to focus my attention?

Instead of focusing my energy on anxiety over the future, stress at work, or moments of loneliness, I should have an attitude of continual thankfulness for all the Lord has blessed me with. My spirit should be lifted up to the Lord every moment of the day, drinking in all the beauty and the blessings around me, praising the Giver of every good gift.

And I'll tell you what, the moment I choose to give thanks, the burden lifts. It's insane. My perspective changes. I choose to give thanks that God has already covered the things I worry about. I choose to give thanks for the thousands of good things God has given me, that I am truly not entitled to. I choose to give thanks in advance for the blessings that are to come, even if I can't see them.

Dad, Mom, me & Ann at our first wedding shower!

Thank you, Lord, for all that you bless me with, the good and the "bad," the easy and the hard. Thank you for my fiancé, who loves me so well and sticks by me even when I'm not such a joy to be around. Thank you that we're learning how to communicate and love each other better. Thank you that I have a job and a roof over my head. Thank you that you've place children in front of me who need someone to love them and care for them. Thank you for a wonderful family and a wonderful new family that I get to be a part of too. Thank you for my health! Thank you for sweet friends around me who are so supportive and encouraging. Thank you for loving me even through my ugly moments. You are good, all the time. 

-S